[Column] Bless Your Spouse

Bless Your Spouse

Written By Rev.Dr. Joshua Hong

Senior Pastor of Full Gospel Church of Honolulu, Hawaii, U.S.


The commonest characteristic of struggling married couples is that they fight while attempting to change each other. There is a saying, “Before marriage, open both your eyes but after marriage close one eye.” At first, Adam earnestly sought Eve. Upon meeting her, he referred to her as “bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23) When seeking companionship, we have to seek earnestly with our eyes open. However when married we have to open our eyes only to our spouses’ strengths and close our eyes to their weaknesses (Luke 6:41, Matthew 7:3, Philippians 2:3). Herein lies the true meaning of wink. To change one’s husband or wife is very difficult. A person cannot change overnight. That does not arise with formal education or academics. It is for this reason that the author of the Proverbs said man’s folly is not removed even if grinded in a mortar.

In war, there are winners and losers. Whether in sports, worthwhile competition, industry, or war, there are victory and defeat. The loser becomes the servant of the victor. The victor claims his reward. Thus everybody wants be the victor. Ironically in a fight between a married couple, there is no victor or loser. Everyone loses. If indeed one wins, he or she will be given hurts instead of rewards. There is no greater wound than that from a fight between a married couple.

A married couple exists to bless each other. The arena where one can most effectively train in blessing is family. In spite of different values and habits, a couple must embrace, tolerate, and bless each other. The Bible says a non-believing spouse can be made holy by a believing partner (First Corinthians 7:14). Continue to intercede for and bless your even if he or she does not believe in Jesus.

The reason why a married couple has to bless each other is that the blessing of a husband is the blessing of a wife and the blessing of a wife the blessing of a husband. Talmud writes, “If a husband becomes king, a wife becomes queen-consort, and the entire family becomes a royal family. If a wife becomes queen, a husband becomes prince, and the entire family a royal family.” A married couple is an entity of a holy union. The success of a husband is the success of a wife and the happiness of a wife is the key to a husband’s happiness.

There was a man with two heads and one body. One man said he was one person while the other said he was two persons. A rabbi asked both men to pour on the two-headed man hot water and said that if the two heads feel the pain, they are one but if only one of them agonizes in pain while the other laughs they are two persons. A married couple is one. That is why two people share with each other happiness and pains.

The Bible gave a wife the responsibility to obey a husband and also gave a husband the responsibility to love her. A wife who obeys a husband must be lovely. A husband who loves his wife like his own body will automatically generate obedience. Satan, to destroy the church, attempts to attack and destroy families. As we bless, obey, and love one another, the grace of God, blessings, and happiness will abound in the family.

Leave a Reply